Weather Report.

Of course, Relativism is best. Better than Objectivism. But Moral Relativism is a slippery slope. That goes like this:
Badger: Sometimes the wind is at my face while I stab someone and it's the reason I did it.
              Sometimes the wind is at my back while I stab someone and it's the reason I did it.
              But since my reason for stabbing is subjective and relative, it's never wrong.